Seriously! I keep wondering and wondering and wondering what in the green earth was the Good Lord thinking?!
We always seem to get to this point where it is so hard if not impossible to maintain normalcy with how we relate to eachother and with our marriage in general. It makes me anxious for the baby to be born, but, there again, there is to be expected at least about two months of adjusting and recalibrating our family and our life to incorporate another new person.
It is a wonderfully exciting transition over all, but it's just irritating and frustrating the toll it can take/stress it can place, at times, on the relationship of husband and wife. (It certainly makes it even worse for me to know that and feel like, overall, I'm the one responsible for the difficulty and upheaval because I'm the one that's grouchy; I'm the one that is too sore, uncomfortable, and hurting to even roll over in bed; I'm the one who's belly is too big for a normal embrace; I'm the one who's lost interest; I'm the one who's body will be torn to shreds and need time to heal; and on and on and on.)
I AM looking forward to after the beautiful baby is here and, even more, when I'm ME again and my husband and I have gone back to being peas and carrots.
My pregnancy with Baby #3 was the worst in terms of my relationship with my husband. I had 2 other little ones and I was exhausted, which made me less than fun to be around. I even had fears that he would leave me!!! (If you knew my husband, you would have a hearty laugh because he is the MOST loyal person I know!)
ReplyDeleteYou are very wise to recognize that this is temporary, and things will work out and settle down after the baby comes. This is where that commitment comes in - you are committed to each other no matter what, and it's a huge and wonderful witness to those around you that your marriage can and will stay strong despite your trials!
Thank you for this. I do not yet have children, but I very much appreciate those who are willing to admit that pregnancy and infants isn't just wonderfully easy all of the time. And your attitude is amazingly unselfish for taking the blame rather than using your trials as just an excuse. But hopefully this is something that you are in together and your husband does not at all see you as the one who is "responsible" when you are having children together. Oh well, don't I have a wonderful ignorance of someone who hasn't been there?
ReplyDeleteOh my sweet friend, I wish I could give you an awkward-TWO-pregnant-tummies hug.
ReplyDeleteI feel worse this time than I did with Ben (my number 3) but somehow, I am dealing with it better. I'm not sure why. I think maybe it has to do with letting mysekf off the hook a bit more. Like, I have completely accepted that in the final 23 (OR LESS) days, my children will watch more TV, eat more convenience foods, do the bare minimum homeschooling, and my house will be messier than I like. I've accepted that walking, sitting, or rolling over is painful... and I just try to take it as easy as possible. I too am SO ready for baby... I handle newborns/recovery a lot better than the final weeks of pregnancy... but I know there is an adjustment time too.
So all that to say... breathe as easy as we can, having a baby shoved against our lungs, and give yourself a break. This is SO temporary! And talk, talk, talk to the Hubby... mine is amazingly supportive when I express my guilt or pain or overwhelmed-ness. We are supposed to be there to support each other... right now, it is his job to carry me. I know my turn will come one day too. :)
Your wedding picture is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteOh, boy, that last part of pregnancy is so hard. When are you due?
I was always so glad to unbuckle my seatbelt and get off of the hormone roller coaster. Our husbands may not have to deal with the physical demands of pregnancy, delivery, and nursing, but we sure make them work for it, don't we? God made them to be our support and most of them are really good for it (even if we have to ask for the support ... several times).
At the point in pregnancy when I don't think that I can make it out of bed or the very last hours of pregnancy when I can't make myself get out of the car and go into the hospital, that's when my husband steps up to the plate to be the reasonable, strong spouse.
The moments that he sees my weakness, whether it be emotional or physical, are the moments that very strongly bonded us together. I don't usually see the result until later when I look at him and remember that he's the one who rolled/pulled my pregnant body out of bed, talked me into entering the hospital in my last-minute panic, and brought me foot rests and water when I nursed his baby.
Although it sounds really cheesy, it's like those last moments in the Lord of the Rings--Sam can't carry the ring for Frodo so he picks Frodo up and carries him the rest of the way. God really knew what he was doing when he made spouses!
We are so blessed! :)
What great reminders! You guys always seem to know just what I need. :)
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