Let's Be Friends

This is an insight that I've been thinking about lately. Before I found out about Catholic Mothers Online and "mommy blogs" (as my husband calls them), I had been feeling very lonely for quite a long time. For me, that is just something that is, for some reason, really hard for me to deal with. I've always been a person who, instead of having a lot of friends, preferred to have fewer, better, closer friends. That's just the way I've always been. It's such a good feeling to have friends (or at least one best friend) who knows they can confide in you and depend on you, and vice versa.

But for me, over the last few years, I've lost those relationships in my life. One, with my mother, which, with her death, came to an abrupt end. The other, with my old best friend from middle school and high school, was a long and crummy process. Essentially, she chose to take on a lesbian lifestyle, didn't share that with me, but instead gradually abandoned our friendship (I'm sure you can guess why--she knew I would challenge her on it). So that stunk.

And then, in addition to those losses, I've also had to come to terms with changes in other friendships. This, I'm told, is a naturally occuring phenomenon: that as we age and as our families grow, our (even long-held) friendships change in response. And that makes complete sense. Everybody's "busier", everybody gets more involved in their own lives and that of their children. Yes, so I can see that it's understandable, and I guess it makes sense, but I don't like it. For me it means that my other two closest friends (one of 11 yrs and another of 5 yrs) hardly talk anymore (we don't live nearby). It's just hard for me to deal with and accept. I have even tried beginning anew with moms in our local playgroup and my book club, but it's pretty much the same story there, too. :/

But this also seems backwards, because, I don't know about you, but it seems like my desire for close friends is only exaggerated by the fact that I'm in the stay-at-home-with-young-children-nonstop phase of my life. Maybe the other women in my cohort have that confidant-advice-giver-to-help-them-stay-sane need met by their mothers and that's why I felt like the only pathetic person without a good, close friend. Who knows.

The point, here, though, (after all that unloading--sorry) is that I've been feeling quite a bit better and quite a bit less lonely after connecting with this community of mothers who are sharing their experience, getting and giving advice, and getting and giving the support that I felt I'd been missing entirely. I really and truly feel that this discovery was a grace/gift from God when I really needed it. I realize that this might sound entirely wacko, but I've been thanking God for the gift of this community and for all of you loving and giving friends.